Do you know the truth about relationships? Or do you believe the fairy tale version, you know where you find that one true love? Your own knight in shining armour or your beautiful princess and lifelong happiness.
Are you still searching? Or did you meet someone, think they were the one, only to have the relationship crash and burn? Leaving you wondering what went wrong, especially after you thought you had found that one perfect person who would magically make your life happy!
Why does this happen?
There are four simple truths about relationships you need to understand, that will also give you the answer!
It is time to discover the truth about relationships, the real honest truth!
4 Simple Truths You Need to Know
1. Truth About Relationships – Honeymoon Phase
When you first start a relationship with someone new, you are in the ‘honeymoon’ phase. Every relationship goes through the honeymoon phase. The truth about relationships is that in the honeymoon stage you love everything about the person you are with. It is like being in your own real-life personal fairy tale! It’s truly one of the most exciting things you can experience.
You love everything about each other, you can talk for hours without an argument, you laugh at their corny jokes. In fact, you can’t imagine anything getting in the way of how good it feels. The reality is you even love the things that you don’t like about them.
The honeymoon phase lasts anywhere from 3 months to 3 years and knowing that the honeymoon phase is a reality is a truth you need to know about relationships.
The honeymoon phase is about getting to know and discover each other. The mystery of someone new is intoxicating but of course, that wears off over time. The truth about relationships is you are under the influence of powerful hormones that connect and bond you together. It is like being under the influence of powerful love drugs and is better than beer goggles!
When the honeymoon phase ends you are actually moving into a more mature phase of your relationship. You move into a deeper and stronger type of love where you have developed trust and know you can count on each other. The truth about relationships is that this can be even more wonderful than the honeymoon phase!
The simple truth about relationships is that the honeymoon phase can disguise that you were incompatible with each other. The honeymoon phase (better known as chemistry) literally blinded you to the qualities that you couldn’t live with, in the long run.
2. Truth About Relationships – Opposites Attract
I am sure you have heard the cliché that opposites attract! It is a cliché because it is true; the truth about relationships is that opposites do attract. You are often attracted to someone who has the qualities you admire and wish you had. Maybe they have the courage to take risks and you like that. Or they can follow through on their goals and you are flaky! The truth about relationships is those opposite qualities can be irresistible.
The introvert often falls for the extrovert! Someone who is messy will often end up with someone who is tidy. An easy-going person may end up attracted to someone who is a stickler for the rules.
Of course, in the honeymoon phase, you only notice what you have in common and can easily overlook your differences. However, when the honeymoon phase ends those differences can be your biggest frustration! They leave you wondering how you ended up being in a relationship with someone who is like that in the first place.
At this point, the introvert will ask why the extrovert can’t just enjoy more quiet nights in and the extrovert will question while the introvert can’t be more sociable!
This is a problem that doesn’t have an answer and that can’t be solved!
Did you know that the truth about relationships is 69% of conflict is unsolvable?
The reason why so much of the conflict is unresolvable is the very differences that drew you together in the first place! Of course, you need to realise that you can’t solve someone’s personality like in the case of the introvert and the extrovert!
Personality differences are unsolvable!
The truth about relationships is you need to stop trying to change what you enjoyed in the first place. Acceptance is the key and the truth about relationships that work beyond the honeymoon stage.
The simple truth about relationships is that the honeymoon phase can disguise that you are just too different to make things work in the long term. It blinded you to the differences that you couldn’t live with.
3. The truth about Relationships – No-one is Perfect
At the beginning of your relationship remember you liked everything about the other person and didn’t notice their flaws and faults. The truth about relationships is that you might even idealize the other person and put them on a pedestal in the beginning! Then one day you wake up and discover the other person is not as perfect as you once thought they were. You can’t believe they are doing what they are doing or acting the way they are. They don’t do things how you would do them and it gets on the last one of your nerves! How could you have ended up being in a relationship with the type of person?
At this point, it is important to remember that opposites attract, that the honeymoon phase gave you rose-coloured glasses, and that no one, including you, is perfect!
The truth about relationships is everyone has flaws! The other truth about relationships is that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. The best relationship is where – there is a deep understanding of each other, and where you can respect how unique you both are. The truth about relationships that work, is both people find a way to accept each other.
4. Truth About Relationships – Trust your Intuition
Your intuition or gut feeling is your instant understanding of what is happening to you. You don’t have to think about it, analyse it or stress, you just know! Your gut feeling or intuition is a feeling that you have in your body and is unique for you. This is a feeling that only you have and why no one else can really tell you if you are in tune with your intuition.
Trusting your intuition is the ultimate way of trusting yourself.
Think about your failed relationships, what was your gut feeling or intuition telling you? As a relationship coach my clients tell me they knew but ignored those feeling and wish they hadn’t.
The honeymoon phase helps you ignore your intuition as well when you want to be in a relationship so much. When you really need love, acceptance, children, or something else, it lets you overlook or ignore red flags and strong feelings in your body. Your strong desire to fill that need allows you to override the gut feeling.
The truth about relationships is you can find the right one by listening to your intuition. Your intuition is your best at knowing if a relationship is right for you and enables you to avoid unhealthy relationships and situations.
The truth about relationships is the person you chose to be in a relationship with, will have the biggest impact on your life. Therefore, it is important to choose someone who you are compatible with. A good relationship needs to have compatibility, chemistry and commitment. The truth about relationships is that you need all three for lasting happiness.
The truth about relationships is a relationship coach can help you if you are struggling to know how to make the right choice. Why not book in a free discovery call? Click here to book.
Debbie, Relationship Coach