Are you a strong independent woman? Are you puzzled about why you are really still single?
You have managed to create a pretty amazing life that you love! You have a career you enjoy, wonderful friends and family. However, you still feel like there is something that is missing, You know that close relationship with a man that you have always dreamt of.
As a strong independent woman, you have started to feel that men just can’t deal with your strength!
This simply isn’t true.
Let me tell you about Rebecca who is the quintessential strong independent woman,
Rebecca the Strong Independent Woman
Rebecca has had enough! She is sick and tired of dating and doesn’t want to waste any more time on men who don’t interest her. When it comes to dating, Rebecca takes an analytical approach and her entire focus is on the outcome. On her dates, Rebecca asks well thought out questions to make sure that they match her list that has become a little like a job selection criteria.
This approach works when Rebecca is interviewing people in the workplace – she always chooses the best person for the job. So it makes perfect sense to her to use the same approach when going out with men. Rebecca is direct, to the point and is rarely vulnerable. There isn’t any point if the men she goes on dates with aren’t what she is looking for. Time is precious, she has already wasted enough and she doesn’t want to waste time or settle for less than she deserves. The reality is that Rebecca is extremely frustrated that the men she wants to date, don’t want to date her.
I am sure you can totally understand where Rebeccas is coming from as you have probably felt the same!
The real reason Rebecca is single is not that she is a strong independent woman but the way she approaches dating.
How Men See Rebecca the Strong Independent Woman
I know that most women will relate to Rebecca’s approach and have possibly used the same approach. However, Rebecca’s approach just doesn’t work for the men she is dating as she is coming solely from her business-like side- which could also be called her masculine side.
Men do not enjoy the approach where Rebecca treats each date like an interview used to find out if the men she meets measure up to her checklist. Men can see through the questions! They know they are being assessed and judged to see if they measure up. They don’t like this, in fact, no one wants this feeling on a date.
What men really want is to feel good around the women they meet rather than to feel judged and that they aren’t good enough. They enjoy someone who is warm, kind, can smile, have fun and even be a little playful. All wonderful feminine characteristics. To be successful with the type of men Rebecca wants to meet, she simply needs to leave her work, business side at work and embrace her fun, playful, feminine side.
The Strong Independent Woman Approach is Not the Issue
Everyone wants to be around people they feel good to be around and men are no different. Men may have come out of relationships where they felt judged and that they didn’t measure up and they simply don’t want to feel that way EVER again.
You may feel your approach is saving you time but it doesn’t bring out the best in the men you go out with, nor does it ensure you get a second date.
The root of the problem is strong, independent women are still coming from their masculine side that they use at work around men they want to date and this pushes the men away.
Strong independent women often believe men can’t deal with their strength but the real reason those men aren’t attracted to them is the business-like approach they take to dating. Men love to be around women who are warm, kind and playful – which are all wonderful feminine qualities.
Strong Independent Woman Myth
The man who wants to be in a relationship will always want to make the women he is dating happy. When a man can’t make the women he is interested in happy, he will walk away.
It is a myth to think that men don’t like or aren’t attracted to successful women, they find this confidence extremely attractive. They like that the strong independent woman knows what she wants and that makes it easy to make her happy.
What men don’t enjoy is certain types of behaviour and I am sure you don’t like the same type of behaviour in men.
The behaviour is:
- Being judged,
- Controlling behaviour
- Contempt and talking to him in a condescending way.
- Being too demanding
- Acting like you don’t need anyone
- Telling him what to do.
No-one likes this type of behaviour, it’s not limited to men!
When men reject the ‘strong independent woman, it is not because of their confidence but because of their behaviour. It is all about the way the woman treats the man. Like having no time for a relationship, being controlling, treating him with contempt or being overbearing. Condescending behaviour or showing criticism and contempt will turn any man off.
Men are NOT intimidated by these actions, they are TURNED OFF!
Time to bring back the fun to dating rather than treating it like a job you don’t have time for! If you are struggling to do this, or have lost hope why not book in a free discovery session? As a Relationship Coach, I can empower you to get the results that you deserve. You have everything to gain and absolutely nothing to lose! Click here to book!