First Impressions – Do you Need Great Lines to Make Killer First Impressions

first impressions
You know that first impressions matter but how do you get them right? 
 
Do you find yourself stuck overthinking about what you should say and find yourself at a total loss on how to make good impressions? Whether that is at work, meeting someone new or on a date?
 
What do you say when you meet someone new? 
 
Do you stress about getting it right, or that you will be bothering people when you first talk to them?
 
Maybe you find it is easier to do nothing, then you can’t get it wrong, can you?

I have good news for you, what you say isn’t  as important as your body language!

 
Great news, right!
 
You don’t need to be the perfect conversationalist or have the perfect pick up line! Why? Because your body language sends out a stronger message than your words.
 

Only 7 % of  first impressions come from what you say. The other 93% is made up of non-verbal communication like your body language, your confidence and your ‘energy’.

 
Everyone you meet comes with their own unique energy and body language and it speaks volumes! People don’t need to tell you that they are ‘needy’ or ‘desperate’ because you will feel it when you meet them (energy) and see it in their actions. The same applies to a confident person, a shy person, a happy person, a guilty person, a jaded single, etc. You will see it in their body language and the energy they give off.
 
For example, a person who isn’t confident will avoid eye contact, won’t stand up straight and may slump their shoulders. They will go and talk to someone, feeling uncomfortable and showing it their body language. The other person will either feel sorry for them or feel uncomfortable, Neither create attraction!
 
Whereas, someone who is confident, stands up straight, looks you in the eyes and smiles.  It feels great and instantly puts you at ease. It can create attraction. 
 

Simple Changes to Create Good First Impressions

You are always communicating through your manners, posture, and body language. It is time to chose what you are communicating, To create good first impressions your words and body language need to match each other. 
 

Your First Impressions

 

1. Handshake or Hug

Whichever you chose make sure you are comfortable with your choice. In the Covid, post covid world not everyone is comfortable with either. If you do choose a handshake (personally I believe they are better used in business rather than dating) make sure it is a good one. A bad handshake creates a poor impression. A bad handshake is too loose or too tight.

When you first meet someone don’t forget the basics like so many people do.  I have met people who don’t tell me who they are, don’t bother to look at me and who seem preoccupied with everything else.

Don’t be one of those! Stop what you are doing, acknowledge the other person with a smile while making eye contact. Take the time to listen to their name and give them yours. 

It’s simple – have a real smile, stand up straight and make eye contact. 

2. First Impressions – Why Does Eye Contact Matter

Eye contact is powerful, so don’t underestimate its value as it creates long-lasting bonds between people. . Keeping eye contact creates a sense of connection between two people – which is exactly what you want! It also increases empathy, understanding of each other and links peoples emotional states.

Something so simple is often overlooked when thinking about good first impressions. It is easy, yet not used often enough when you are so busy worrying about what to say next or worrying about coming across as creepy from staring too long!

How do you know how much is too much? No first interaction should be a five-minute eye gazing exercise as that would be enough to make anyone uncomfortable. The best thing to do is to mirror the amount of eye contact that the other person is giving you. If they are the type of person who makes a lot of eye contact, they will be comfortable with that. If they break eye contact, do the same and take a moment to notice them relax. Then concentrate on what they are saying to you.

Mix eye contact with a real smile and  you will always stand out.

3. A Winning Smile Creates Good First Impressions

A smile is such a simple thing that is proven by research to make anyone instantly more attractive! It is one thing that you can easily do and the best thing is that it costs you nothing!

Did you know that when you smile it releases mood-enhancing hormones and decreases the stress enhancing ones! A smile has the flow-on effect of making you look good, feel good and then others see that they smile and as a result, they look and feel good too!

The only word of warning that I will give you is to be aware of the over smile or the fake smile! People don’t trust someone who smiles too much or has a fake smile – it looks like you aren’t being genuine. A fake smile is where your smile doesn’t reach your eyes and isn’t genuine. Oversmiling is a sign of trying too hard and doesn’t make good first impressions.

Ladies, men often tell me women ration their smiles and seeing a lovely smile is like sunshine – big call but maybe that’s how rare they feel it is! Why not try smiling at the strangers you come across, it is fun and you never know what might happen. I always smile on my morning walks and say hello. It feels good and I love seeing how people react! They might wonder if they know me or why I am smiling at them. But mostly they smile back and sometimes I end up having great conversations meeting new people.  A smile can change someone’s day and that makes me feel good too.  Best of all it doesn’t cost anything.

4. Good Impressions come from Good Posture

Take a moment to notice your posture or your body language, what is it saying? Are you showing confidence or are you showing the people around you that you feel uncomfortable? Because guess what your body language shows a lot.

How you feel about yourself is reflected in your posture and did you know that when you change your posture you can change how you feel. It is such a simple, yet powerful action to take to change your feelings. 

Try it! 

Stand up straight with your shoulders back. Can you feel how much better that feels, you can almost feel instantly more confident.

Now do the opposite –  try slumping, you know rounding your shoulders and looking self consciously at the ground. It instantly changes how you feel, you don’t feel as good, confident or even as comfortable.

Both have a flow-on effect on the people you are talking to as they will feel equally uncomfortable or comfortable depending on your body language. 

Your body language shapes who you are. 

It is quite simple and universal good impressions come from good posture as it conveys more than words can. 

Conclusion

In this blog, I have shown you how  93% of your communication comes from your body language and energy. It is quite simple to work on changing   – make eye contact, have a real smile and listen to the other person. Oh, and don’t forget to stand up straight because this will give people the impression you are confident and comfortable, which will then make them feel comfortable as well.
 
On the flip side remember, if you have slumped body language it creates the impression that you don’t believe in yourself and that you don’t feel comfortable. Which, in turn, will make the person you talk to feel equally uncomfortable. Oh, and if you are grumpy, uptight or have walls up it makes the other person feel uncomfortable and will put them off talking to you.
 
Just remember, stand up straight, make eye contact, smile and be curious about the other person.
 
To find out more about what other things make good first impressions read  – How to Make Good First Impressions to get a 1st or 2nd date.
 
As always this is generic advice, if you are looking for something specific why not book in for a free discovery call? Here is the link.
 
Debbie
 
 

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