How to have a 1st Date by Video Chat? 10 Tips to Get a 2nd Date
I am sure you didn’t imagine you would be having your first date on a video chat!
Video dates aren’t new, yet with social distancing, it seems to be the only way you can go on a first date!
It’s important to know how to win your date over in the virtual world. It may take adjusting your dating skills to create a connection to get a 2nd, 3rd and 4th date!
You might not like the idea of a video date, however, unless you want to wait until after the virus has ended to date it’s the only option. I also predict video dating will be one thing that stays long after the virus has gone.
How do you have a successful video date? It is easier than you think.
10 Tips to for a 1st Date and to Get a 2nd Date
1. It’s a Real Date
Don’t fall into the trap of turning up for your video date in your track pants, gym gear or your pj’s! First impressions still count and it is important to make the effort to look your best, just like you would on a real date!
Ladies, do your hair, your makeup and make sure you put someone one that works on camera! Makeup and clothes do need to be adjusted for what works on camera. Just take notice of what the newsreaders wear!
Men do your hair, iron your clothes, shower and make sure what you are wearing looks good on camera! The camera will highlight things like dirty nails so pay extra attention to this.
Just like any other date, make sure you made a set time for the date. That way you won’t be surprised and answer a video call when you aren’t ready!
2. Camera Positioning for Video
How you position your camera for your video date is more important than clothes, hair or makeup! Camera position and lighting can be your best friend or worst enemy. I recommend you use natural lighting or get an inexpensive light ring/camera holder as it will make a huge difference in how you look.
Play with the camera angle to get the best outcome. You should also watch out for shiny foreheads and light bouncing off glasses. It is best to put the camera at your eye level and position yourself a small distance away. Definitely avoid the camera being too close (not many people look good this way) or too far away – people want to see your facial expressions, etc.
3. Be creative and create an atmosphere for video
Video can be harsh, so make sure you create an atmosphere on your date. The lighting you use can and will make all the difference, as well as your background. Don’t fall into the trap of forgetting that your date is able to see what is behind you – you know it could be the sink full of dishes, the overflowing laundry basket or just a chaotic house!
You don’t need to clean up your whole place, just what can be seen on video!
Also, remember that your house will tell the other person a lot about the type of person you are. They will be able to see if you are tidy or messy and what your taste in decorating is. You are able to control what they do or don’t see all by how you position your camera.
You can also take advantage of background music and even candles!
You can choose where to do your video, it could be anywhere – outside, your lounge room, your study. However, I do recommend you get out of bed for the date!
4. Have a trial run
Have a trial run! Video yourself to see how you come across. You will be able to play with the best camera angle, the lighting and how your clothes and makeup look. You could even have a video call with a good friend who can give you feedback on what you could improve. The more you practice the more comfortable you will be using video!
5. Get Rid of Distractions
You can do a video date on your phone or computer. Both can and do come with distractions. Make sure you turn your phone to silent and your computer notifications off. You do not want to be checking notifications or looking at either a phone or computer on the date. It is rude. Do not do it! There is time to answer after your video date.
Make your date the centre of your attention if you want to win them over!
6. Have a Video Drink Together
When you go on a face2face date you generally enjoy a drink or a coffee/tea together. Do the same on your video date. It will relax you and made the date feel more like a real-life date! You could pick your favourite or your most unusual drink which will give you something light-hearted to talk about! Have fun with what you chose!
7. Be Friendly and Warm
Any type of date can be nerve-wracking, let alone a video date. Take the extra time to be warm and friendly. Everyone wants to feel good and open friendly body language makes your date more comfortable. Open body language means – eye contact, a smile, unfolded arms.
Be easy to talk to and ready to laugh. Try smiling, be happy, positive, friendly and fun. Steer clear of complaining about what you don’t like in your life, about dating or even about virus.
To have a successful date you don’t want your date to feel like they need to measure up to your requirements. You might feel you are saving time by asking questions, yet it has the opposite effect as it appears judgemental. No-one wants to feel judged by obvious qualifying questions!
Dating should and can be fun! Quizzing your date about how long they have been single, what went wrong with their last relationship or what their future goals are, is anything but fun for your date. It will not put your date in a good mood either to think about their past failures either!
Like I said your date should be fun and you can have a lot of fun getting to know someone. It can start light-hearted but you can get deeper.
To build the connection one of the fastest ways is to get your date to experience their emotions. Ask them good curious questions like what they are passionate about and what they excited about.
When you get your date into the feeling of excitement, they will associate the good feeling with you. Good questions get better outcomes, lose the pointless judgemental questions and be genuinely curious.
When you ask a series of questions, any smart person can tell you what you want to hear. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are genuine. Yet when you find out what genuinely lights someone up, it will tell you a lot about them. It gives you insight into whether or not they are a good fit for you.
9. Chose an Original Date
You do not have to go for the standard, sit at your computer and talk date! Be creative with the types of dates you have. Although this is better for second and third dates as its often better to keep your first date simple, although it should always be fun. You could try:
- Cook the same thing together and see how it turns out.
- Order take out and eat together.
- Share the movie or songs that most shaped your life.
- Try the 36 Questions which were scientifically designed to create a strong connection – I recommend this for a third date.
- Share something that you both like to do together, maybe you could even take a virtual walk together!
- Watch a movie together, Netflix has a shared movie feature.
- Play truth or dare.
- Play a silly game or do a silly quiz.
- If you both have Alexa play a game where you get it to say the word you want, it is silly and fun.
10. Have a time limit on your date
First video dates do not have to take forever. In fact, if you make the date 15-20 mins it is do-able for everyone. It has the added benefit of leaving your date wanting more. So, rather than allowing your date to go forever, set a definite time limit and honour it.
Even if you are having fun and the date is going well, stick to the plan. It is the best time to end the date while you are still having fun and on a high note. It leaves your date thinking about you and wanting more of a connection.
This creates a little bit of mystery and is much better than you over-sharing or appearing desperate.
If you had a good date, let them know that you had fun. End it with a simple compliment like, ‘It was so much fun to talk to you, you made me laugh. (Name) enjoy the rest of your night’.
If they are into you, then there is sure to be a 2nd date that can go longer.
If you this or any other part of dating seems tough, simply book in a coaching call and I can help you succeed.
Here’s to your success.